Quotes 3

The Freshman

"Well, I'm... Ooh, boyfriend! My on-campus boyfriend."
"Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up. Line's probably really long there, too."
-Willow and Buffy

"It's too bad Giles can't be librarian here. Be convenient."
"Well, he says that he's enjoying being a gentleman of leisure."
"Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just British for unemployed?"
"Uh-huh, he's a slacker now."
"Speaking of slack, have you heard anything from Xander?"
"Not for awhile, he's still on his cross-country-see-America thing. He said he wasn't coming back until he had driven to all fifty states."
"Did you explain about Hawaii?"
"Oh, he seemed so determined."
-Buffy and Willow

"Well I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to, um, you know... help you move." -Xander

"Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.' Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero. Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?'"
"Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?"
"It's a deal. Let's put this bitch in the ground! What do you say?"
"I think I say thank you."
"And nothing says thank you like dollars in the waistband."
-Xander and Buffy

"Do we hug?"
"I think we're too manly."
-Xander and Oz

"Prank? Oh, the room. Well some friends of Buffy's played a funny joke, and they took her stuff. And now she wants us to help get it back from her friends who sleep all day and have no tans."
"Oh! Those friends!"
"Funny guys."
-Xander, Willow, and Oz

Living Conditions

"You took your roommate patrolling with you?"
"Well I invited the whole dorm, but she was the only one that could make it." -Giles and Buffy

"Hey, say hi to non-college guy."
"Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?"
"Usually. I just thought I'd come around and check on my girls."
"And eat off my plate."
"What's the deal Xand, parents not feeding you?"
"Sure they do, for a price."
-Xander, Buffy, and Willow

"Ewww! Who left their gum here?"
"Gum gnome?"
-Kathy and Buffy

"Giles, I-I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. No, n-not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come to you. Kay?" -Willow

The Harsh Light of Day

"I am not enjoying this."
"Well shelve them correctly and we can finish."
"I don't get your crazy system."
"System? It's called the alphabet."
-Xander and Giles

"So, let's have a look at the new boy."
"Hi, I'm Parker."
"He's got. What's the word? Vulnerability."
"And you with Harmony. What'd you do? Loose a bet?"
-Spike, Parker, and Buffy

"Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums or I'm moving in."
"Oz there are more important things than records right now."
"More important than this one?"
"Well I suppose an argument could be made for -"
"Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV. He's shallow like us."
"I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed."
"I, ah, uh, uh."
"Well maybe it doesn't work. Like a piece of art."
-Oz, Giles, Xander, and Willow

Fear, Itself

"Okay, and on that happy note, Ive got a treat for tomorrow nights second annual Halloween screening. People - prepare to have your spines tingled, your gooses bumped by the terrifying Fantasia. Fantasia?"
"Maybe its because of all the - horrific things weve seen, but hippos wearing tutus just dont unnerve me the way they used to."
"Phantasm. It was supposed to be Phantasm. Stupid video store!" -Xander and Oz

"Happy Hallow - Hello, Buffy?"
"Oh my God."
"Its a sombrero."
"And its on your head."
"It seemed festive."
-Giles and Buffy

"I wasnt scared, I was in the spirit."
"And we back you up on that. Even if they question us separately." -Xander and Willow

"Who's a little fear demon? Come on! Who's a little fear demon!"
"Dont taunt the fear demon."
"Why, can he hurt me?"
"No, its just tacky."
-Xander and Giles

Wild at Heart

"You know very well, you eat this late... You're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn? That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with." -Buffy

"Peace of Westphalia."
"Uh, yalta?"
"Oh, you moron. That dinette set should be mine."
-Giles and Contestant(on TV)

"Oz... Don't you love me?"
"My whole life... I've never loved anything else."
-Willow and Oz

The Initiative

"Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting For an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence. Never knowing which thought might be your last."
"Oh, shut up." -Giles and Xander

"I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before."
"Maybe you were nervous."
"I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it!"
"Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?"
"Not to me, it doesn't!"
"It's me, isn't it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around."
"Piffle!"
"I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'ooh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'oh, you're such a good friend.'"
"Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat."
"Really?"
"Thought about it."
"When?"
"Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?"
"I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool."
"Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and "rrrr!" Takes the mystery out."
"But if you could..."
"If I could, yeah."
"You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying."
"Don't patronize me." -Spike and Willow

Pangs

"Where are you going?"
"To watch her."
"It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you?"
"Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels." -Giles and Angel

"We don't say 'indian.'"
"Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as "bloody colonials."
-Buffy and Giles

"So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals." -Buffy to Spike

"Oh, someone put a stake in me."
"You got a lot of volunteers in here."
-Spike and Xander

"Angel?"
"So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?"
"He's evil again."
"I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?"
-Xander, Anya, and Angel

"A bear!"
"You made a bear!"
"I didn't mean to."
"Undo it! Undo it!"
-Buffy and Spike

Something Blue

"You want something nicer? Look at my poor neck. All bare and tender and exposed... all that blood just pumping away..."
"Oh, please."
"Giles, make her stop."
"If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."
-Buffy, Spike, and Giles

"Come on, now! It's telly time!"
Answering Machine: "This is Buffy and Willow. We're not in right now, so please leave a message."
"Oh, uh, Willow... It's Giles. Um... I thought you were bringing the ingredients for that spell. I really have to..."
"'Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll..."
"You'll do what? Lick me to death?"
-Spike and Giles

"Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird."
"Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance."
"What's wrong with Buffy?"
"Oh... such a good question."
"Well, it's a terrible name."
"My mother gave me that name."
"Your mother, yeah, she's a genius."
"Don't you start in on my mother."
-Buffy, Spike, and Giles

"Why are you holding hands?"
"They have to hear it sooner or later..."
"Spike and I are getting married!"
"How? What? How?"
"Three excellent questions."
"What are you lookin' at?"
"The man I love."
"Can I be blind, too?"
-Anya, Spike, Buffy, Xander, and Giles

"And you both were affected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity."
"Yeah. Right. You're marrying Spike because you're so right for each other."
"Xander!"
"That's it ... you're off the usher list."
-Buffy, Xander, and Spike

"Oh, ugh..."
"Oh, bloody hell!"
"Spike lips! Lips of Spike!"
-Buffy and Spike

Doomed

"Wow. I wasnt sure where the party was, and then I saw the flashing lights and the ambulance, and I was like 'right, of course! Death, carnage its a Buffy party!" -Buffy

"Whats this? Sitting around watching the telly while theres evil still a foot. Thats not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, cant go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Lets find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Lets annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Lets fight that evil! - Lets kill something! Oh, come on!" -Spike

A New Man

"I like pancakes 'cause they're stackable. Ooo, and waffles 'cause you can put things in the little holes if you wanted to."
"You should always have a new boyfriend. You're so much fun right now." -Buffy and Willow

"The demon attacked Professor Walsh. Got out of a small, gray car. A Citroen."
"It stole Giles' car."
"Why would a demon steal a car?"
"Why would a demon steal that car?"
-Riley, Willow, Xander, and Anya

The I in Team

"Xander. You haven't been paying any attention to me, tonight. Just peddling those process food breaks. I don't know why."
"Well, let me put it in a way you'll understand. Sell bars. Make money. Take Anya nice places. Buy pretty things."
"That does make sense. All right, I support you. Go sell more." -Xander and Anya

"Close the door!"
"Spike? You may want to give up these morning jogs."
"Soldiers boys are out in force. I've been trying to keep them off my scent. Run them in circles. But they keep coming."
"And . . . how is this our concern? Seeing as how you've expressed the desire to have nothing more to do with us."
"Spike said that?"
"Mm-hmm."
"...That hurts." -Spike, Xander, and Giles

Goodbye Iowa

"Everybody grab a weapon. We've gotta move."
"Storm the Initiative. Yeah let's take on those suckers."
"I was thinking more that we'd hide."
"Oh thank God." -Buffy and Xander

"You really should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander. You can't have Xander!"
"That was the idea. Riley was supposed to be Mr. Joe Guy. We were going to do dumb things like hold hands through the daises going tra-la-la."
"Poor Buffy. Your life resists all things average."
"So dump him. But you can't have Xander!"
"I'll try and remember that." -Anya, Buffy, and Willow

This Year's Girl

"It's Faith. She's awake. She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out of the hospital. No one knows where she is."
"I'd say this qualifies for a "Worst Timing Ever" award." Buffy and Xander

"Is this bird after you?"
"In a bad way, yeah."
"Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening be dull."
"Go ahead. You wouldn't even recognize her."
"Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith, criminally insane. Like this girl already."
"We're dumb." -Spike and Xander

Who Are You

"Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buf-fy. You can't do that - it's wrong. You can't do that because it's naughty. Because it's wrong. Because it's wrong. You can't do that. It's wrong. I'll kick your ass. I'm gonna kill you." -Faith in Buffy

"She, um, said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w-w-went..."
"He w-w-w-w-what? You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?" -Tara and Faith in Buffy

Superstar

"I think did great. We knocked em dead. Which they already were."
"We knocked 'em deader!"
"They weren't very well organized. If they had all rushed at Buffy they could have killed her right away."
"Thanks Anya. That won't keep me awake all night."
-Xander, Willow, Anya, and Buffy

"I live here. I wasn't exactly pining for a noisy visit from 'wonder Jonathan and his fluffy battle kittens'."
"Yeah? You think that one up with all the time you spend not being able to bite people?"
"Careful, he's still pretty dangerous."
"Yeah, back off 'Betty.'"
"It's Buffy, you big bleached... stupid guy."
-Spike, Buffy, and Jonathen

"Giles, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?"
"No... Yes. It was a gift." -Buffy and Giles

"Anya he fights better than I do. And I'm the slayer. The Slayer! That's supposed to mean something right?"
"Oh! buck up you. You kill the best. Go you. Kill, kill."
"Actually not needing validation right now, but thank you."
-Anya and Buffy

Where the Wild Things Are

Anya: "Oh."
Willow: "Wow."
Giles: (singing) "To be fated..."
Xander: "Um, could we go back to the haunted house? Cause, this is
creeping me out."
Tara: "Does he do this a lot?"
Xander: "Sure. Every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn
orange."
Giles: (singing) "But my dreams, they are as empty, as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely..."
Willow: "Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him."
Giles: (singing) "...my love is vengeance..."
Tara: "Well, he is pretty good."
Giles: (singing) "...that's never free...
Anya: "His voice... is pleasant."
Xander: "What?!"
Giles: (singing) "No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings..."
Willow: "Oh, come on, he is kinda sexy."
Giles: (singing) "Like I do..."
Xander: "I'm fighting total mental breakdown here, Will. No more fueling the fire please."

"Well, that totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem." -Xander

"Shut up, repressed crybabies!" -Anya

New Moon Rising

"Buffy doesn't make her quota. Bad slayer!" - Xander

"Slap my hand now!"
"Beg your pardon?"
"In celebration."
"Oh... Yes."
"Ow!" -Anya and Giles

"It was stupid to think that you'd just be... waiting."
"I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like if I'm old and blue-haired, and I turn the corner in Istanbul and there you are, I won't be surprised. Because... you're with me, you know?"
"I know. But now is not that time, I guess."
"No."-Oz and Willow

The Yoko Factor

"You know, for someone who's got 'Watcher' on his resume, you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again." -Spike

"Akk! Oh, come on! You got to be kidding?"
"Wow. That chip in your head means you can't even point a gun. How humiliating."
"Doesn't work anyway. It's a fake."
"Can't even point a decorative gun?"
"Give it up for a American chipmanship."
"It doesn't work? What about self-defense? I'm taking a risk here, you know?"
"Can I tell you how much I really... don't care?"
-Spike, Anya, and Xander

"I'm still sorry."
"Thank you."
"And, next time . . I'll apologize by phone. Uh, things are pretty tense around here."
"They really are."
"Can I do anything?"
"Honestly . . . I think the best thing you can do right now is--"
"Okay."
"It means a lot that you came."
"Oh, and . . . Riley."
"Yeah?"
"I don't like him."
"Thank you." -Angel and Buffy

Primeval

"Must be programmed to self-decrypt at a certain point. That is so annoying. It-it's like somebody blurting out the answer to a riddle just when you've-- I mean, yippee! We have the information." -Willow

"Nervous?"
"No way. I'm full of that good old Kamikaze spirit."
"Xander, just because this is never going to work there's no need to be negative."
"The enjoining spell isn't powerful enough to defeat Adam?"
"It's very powerful. It's also extraordinarily dangerous."
-Willow, Xander, Giles

"Xander!"
"Oh, wonderful Xander!"
"You know we love you, right?"
"We totally do!"
"Oh, God, we're gonna die, aren't we?"
"No. We just missed you."
"Giles, hurry up! You definitely want to get down here for this!" -Buffy, Willow, and Xander

"Sorry. I don't jump through hoops on command. I've never really been one to tow the line."
"Oh. Kill her".
"I thought you'd never ask."
-Buffy, Adam, and Forrest

"Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, 'ey?"
"Yes. Uh, thank you. Although your heroism is slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all."
"He probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here."
"Well, yeah. Did it work? Well, then everything's all right. We all get to be not
staked-through-the-heart. Good work, team."
-Spike, Giles, and Xander

"Wasn't it amazing"?
"You were great."
"We were great."
"We still got men out there."
"Well, let's go save 'em, by gum!"
-Willow, Xander, Buffy, Riley, and Spike

Restless

"Dinner is served. And my very own recipe."
"Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says 'popcorn'?"
"Actually, I pushed 'defrost,' but, um, Joyce was there in the clinch." -Xander and Willow

"I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch".
"You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake." -Snyder and Xander

Giles: (singing) "It's strange, it's not like anything we've faced before. It seems familiar somehow. Of course! The spell we cast with Buffy must have released some primal evil that's come back seeking I'm not sure what... Willow, look through the chronicles for some reference to a warrior beast. I've got to warn Buffy- there's every chance she might be next. Xander, help Willow and try not to bleed on my couch I've just had it steam-cleaned. No, wait..."

"This could be trouble."
"We better make a fort."
"I'll get some pillows."
-Adam and Riley

"Ah... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know where the hell that came from." -Buffy

"You think you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun." -Tara